Or we'll regret the descisions that we made as young, idealistic, unrealistic kids who HOPE that it will all turn well in the end. It's like jumping off a cliff and hoping we don't hit our heads on the rocks on the way down. roll with the punches, and you end up on the ground...bleeding...I don't want life to punch me.
That's the thing, life hasn't punched the shit out of me. I've had a damn good life. In fact, now looking at where it's going/gone in the past months it almost seems too good to be true. Okay, I got into a very school that I LOVE. I got way more aid money than a lot of people. My first semester is basically paid for, so something must be wrong...yes - the other semester. I got a good dorm and good room mates. Nothing is this perfect. At some point the sun has to set on the good, the night has to start. Like, something has to go wrong I have a huge feeling that it's gonna be the money. Like, when I graduate it's just gonna smack me in the face and prove that I was dumb to enjoy my college life and time at school, that I should have done something differently, but now it feels so right that I don't what else to do. I don't know how to make the future me respect the present me's decisions.
I don't want to be stupid, but it doesn't feel stupid. It just looks stupid. Really, really stupid. It's like I, dumb, idealistic, unrealistic, young me, want this more than anything, but my head is like, "You're a fucking idiot. Go to NHIA."
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